Jokes


  1. My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said, "At the end of this ruler, there is an idiot!". I got detention after asking which end.


  1. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: Who just threw that?!

Boy: Me! I'm going home now.


  1. Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a Math exam.

Mark: That's right!


  1. Knock knock

Who's there?

A broken pencil.

A broken pencil who?

Never mind. It's pointless!


  1. 3 things I have learned in school: texting without looking, sleeping without getting caught, and team work on tests!


  1. Q: Why did the students eat their home-works?

A: Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.


  1. Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

A: Because her students were so bright!


  1. On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents names?" The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling". The teacher said, "Are you kidding?". The student said, "No, I am Joking. Kidding is my brother".


  1. What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

SLIPPERS!


  1. What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?

This tastes a little FUNNY!


  1. How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven't we METAPHOR?


  1. A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped up and said, "BOW-WOW!". The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse.

"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language!"


  1. At night I can't sleep. In the morning I can't wake up.


  1. 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.


  1. Q: Why did the Math book look so sad?

A: Because it had so many problems.


  1. Q: Why can't you trust an atom?

A: Because they make up everything.


  1. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said. "Call for backup".


  1. Q: What is the best part about living in Switzerland?

A: Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.


  1. Q: What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?

A: A desserter.


  1. Q: Why did the Cyclops close his school?

A: Because he only had one pupil.